Re-Worked – Contemplation of an old Silk Carving (part 1)

April 18, 2009

After many months of stifled energy I think my creative juices are returning. My grief is still there but it does not freeze me any more. I am not saying that I did not do anything at all – I was enganged with organizing old stuff, lots of photographs and other works, just things which kept me from giving in to too many dark thoughts and possibly feeling sorrow for myself which is never good.

I also used the time to enjoy the greatest gift a mother can give to her daughter – diaries – written over decades of a lifetime. Through these diaries I learned a lot about my Mom, things I did not know but wished to have known. About her feelings she rarely talked about – just a completely different generation and upbringing. And children can be so selfish, taking everything for granted – just as parents too sometimes.

I learned a lot through these diaries – I have still not finished reading them. Many things appeared in a completely different light. This is a chance to contemplate your own life, thinking, goals and everything else.

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Five years ago I worked on a silk carving and “finished” it. It even went into an exhibition in the USA but I knew there was something wrong with the piece. It was false. The title was wrong and even more – the colour was wrong. I was totally dissatisfied although it took me quite some time to produce it, there was a lot of emotion in this piece and it should have been one of my best – but the final result wasn’t. It came back to me after a couple of months and I stored it away not knowing what to do with it. I knew there was something else in it but I had no clue what to change.

But suddenly I knew!

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longing1w
“The Longing”
39″ x 35″, silk

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longing21

I changed the colour into a kind of bronze – that at least was the result. Now it looks like a bas-relief of cast-bronze. A very happy serendipity.

Originally I wanted to change this piece into a pitch black piece but it did not let me! The silk refused to turn black but changed into that lovely bronze colour. Funny how an artwork seems to have its own intention sometimes. I am quite happy with the results now… This even gives me some thoughts to create more pieces in this colour in order to mock the material as it was the original intention about working on silk carvings, a technique I invented.

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longing3

I also changed the title to The Longing – which seemed to me much more apropriate than the original.

The title leaves room to various interpretations – the viewer can decide what he feels about this piece. I have my own feeling about it.

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(will be continued…)

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