A Word about Blogging and Good Manners…

February 15, 2008

Do you also find it most frustrating if you try to get in contact with other people, you enter some nice comments for a couple of times and the addressee does not even care about responding even once? Well – I do.

Of course you cannot force people to read what you write but wouldn’t it be so much nicer if you would receive an answer also or at least a confirmation that your comment has been read in one way or another?

I have learned in early days that communication is working much easier and better if you respect what your “talking” partner has to say. I don’t think that this rule has been abandoned really but my impression lately is that people get very sloppy about these rules and the most basic requirements for politeness which is essential for a human cooperation in the deepest sense of the word.

I mean – this has nothing to do with grovelling – which is a completely different issue – and equally annoying – but for heaven’s sake what is wrong with saying “thank you”?

How do you feel when you try to get in contact with someone, you write a couple of nice comments on someone’s blog and you are not getting any response at all? Not even a little “thanks” that your “effort” has been noticed at all. What a jerk – you probably think…

What is blogging all about? Connecting with like minded or even controversial people in a network! An exchange of opinions and emotions. But real communication only works in both directions – otherwise it is only a kind of virtual exhibitionist self-portrayal on the Internet!

Are we that much degenerated and dis-illusioned that we assume that our communicative partner does not need a simple “thank you” any more, neither on a business letter nor on a personal email, where we might have received an answer or advice to a question? Are you also getting frustrated about this, when you have spent some time on helping a person and not getting the tiniest “thanks” in return? I find this behaviour not only quite miserable but it leads to more ego driven behaviour simply because you – as a person – don’t feel appreciated any more. So why doing anything for anyone at all if it is not even noticed?

It is a bit different in real life. In real life you might see a smile on someone’s face or another physical reaction but in the virtual world where you cannot hear voices or see a life face it is even more important to express what you feel. The word stands for a gesture. So why not use it – it does not cost a dime!

Rude manners never feed a good communication. Even in the most banal interactions such as a chit chat about house and garden, a minimum amount of friendliness helps the cause and does not hurt anyone’s feelings. On the contrary – it leaves a good feeling in anyone as a person and human being.

I find it is time to revive these virtues. Wouldn’t it be so much nicer?

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4 Responses to “A Word about Blogging and Good Manners…”

  1. Marie Says:

    Yes, it would. Manners seem to no longer be taught in families.

  2. vyala Says:

    Hi Marie,
    thanks for stopping by. I really wonder sometimes why it has become so difficult to implement friendliness, politeness and a certain attitude for consideration into children’s education. What’s so difficult about this? It should be part of everybody’s natural personality…

  3. jill Says:

    I just posted a guide to blogging manners after talking with some others about what they think is or is not polite.
    It was thought that a comment should be considered like a thank you note, and therefore doesn’t require a thank you note back. If the blogger does want to respond to comments, that is nice, but some bloggers get so many comments that if they started responding to them all, they would not be able to do a new post.

    I do understand how you feel however, especially when you are trying to establish a line of communication. It does feel like a snub when a blogger won’t reply. But perhaps there are reasons for that of which we are unaware. It always makes me feel better to assume a person is acting in a way that they do not intend to harm me.

    I’d be interested in getting your input on the Ten Suggestions for Blogging Manners from the post on 2/29 that we came up with.
    I hope you can take a second and add your thoughts.

  4. vyala Says:

    Dear Jill,
    I haven’t been to your post yet but I will visit soon.
    My first reaction to your comment immediately is, that what you are saying applies for short comments such as “wow” or similar. There is a way to combine a friendly answer to a couple of such answers. Yet how many blogs do you know who get more than 10 answers all the time and several times each day – honestly? And is it really that much work to write 10 times “thank you” in order to make someone happy? In my opinion it is the same with saying “thank you” when someone opens the door for you. Do you stop saying it when it happens for the 11th time?
    If someone does not like these kinds of “thank you” answers on their blogs there is a way to place a comment/rule on your blog, saying “I am not interested in comments such as “wow” or similar. That says it all – doesn’t it?


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